Dance first. Think later. It's the natural order.

I think this might be a good idea for tonight! Let's weekend!

Spotify dance list

ICE ICE baby!

Yes yes, bye bye detox welcome ice. I had my eye (or maybe even both) on this frozen dessert maker kitchen aid adjustment for some time, but it seemed to be no where in stock. Just when detox left around the corner, coolblue dropped me a mail in the box they had this wonderful aid in stock again. Only 4! So a hurried down the digital alley and ordered my very own, which is waiting proudly in the corner of my kitchen to be of service. I can make my own ice from now on! Sesame. Green tea. Mango. Wonder how advocado would taste?

Happy icing all!

Yellow, Green, Blue, Red... color my days!

Rainbow day! I feel like a rainbow worrier... Today I started the detox adventure, I am very happy to detox again. Last time I did a detox some 3 years ago was a bottled juice fast from the pharmacy which tasted very nasty. Who ever thought of drinking sauerkraut juice in the morning? Despite the horrible tastes of all kinds of nasty vegetables in bottled juices, after 5 days I felt reborn. My skin was so much better, but also my intestinal flora got a boost.

Lately I am feeling very tired and it felt like something had to be done with Corona and all that. I remembered my total boost and reset from 3 years ago, so the answer was found easily: detox time! So today I started my rainbow adventure. I started out with the yellow part and did some green at lunch time. In a minute I will follow the blue path and for dinner green and red is on the menu.

Wonder if I will be a glow in the dark tonight!

Fuck Corona mood

Lately I have become a bit melancholic, but than... who isn't with this plague Corona which screws up the whole world? Like any human being on this very planet, I am really tired of the Corona shit and everything that comes with it. Although things slightly change, like being able to meet friends again at distance 1.5 meters and little by little things open up, I miss my old unexpected adventurous me. Tokio 2.0, the never a dull moment Laura Craft character of the 21st century. I miss the festivals and concerts, the going out, the nice dinners in restaurants with family and friends, the coffee corner gossip at work, the chit chat with the NMLK people, all the fun stuff I just got used to do since I have been down the drain hole. I miss playing Werewolves at the campfire with the friends of my teenage kids, I miss hosting sleep-ins for them.

Today I visited one of my good friends who knows Istanbul very well as she has been born in Turkey, and she got very excited about my roadtrip to Istanbul plans. She invited me again to go with her on a trip to Cappadocia which hopefully will take place in October. She is planning to combine it with a short stay in Istanbul so I can already explore a little. It gives me a new horizon, as I need that since I am not able to do unexpected things at this moment. Things to look forward to.

So I did some pep talk to myself and changed to Fuck Corona mood. I bought a slow juicer extension part to my Kenwood Kitched Aid and will start a detox of 5 days from this Monday on. I am tired, something needs to change. I found this fabulous detox scheme with all kinds of fruits, vegetables and herbs. It will be fun to stick to the colored scheme, to talk yellow, blue, green or red. But I am determined. Fuck corona. Let's kick some asses.

Rainy days beautiful hell

Last week I came across this wonderful song of Adna and it felt it was totally written for me personally. It kicked right into my bones and listening to this song makes me wanna dance in the rain with a smile on my face and tears running down my cheeks.

Especially today after having a nice long nightly chat with my dear Berlin I feel the gap Adna sings about.

The rain is pouring litterly out of the sky this morning and I try to avoid the void. I want to stay on the road, my adventure, this life. I must go on, but on days like this I need a horizon...

I wonder how a gap can feel this much
How a gap can feel like something this big
How it multiplies in my veins
And in my blood and home
And trigger itself in my thoughts

Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh

I wonder how a gap can feel this much
How a gap can feel like something this big
How it multiplies in my veins
And in my blood and home
And trigger itself in my thoughts

I'd like to be your
Beautiful hell
Your beautiful hell
I'd like to be your
Beautiful hell
Your beautiful hell

Raising kids with a twist

One of the most challenging tasks as a single motherly female human being is raising 3 adolescent kids. The profile for this function consists of a lot of skills. I love doing it, I think it shaped me to this creative, agile, challenge-instead-of-problem solver with lots of stakeholder management skills that I am able to apply in my profession as well.

Well at the ages my kids are right now and my demanding job just sometimes my mommy brain needs a bit of a day off today. How wonderful to have this simple pictogram hanging on our planbord on days like that saying: don't argue, mommies brain is having a break 😂.

Winds in the streets

What a happy day to receive such beautiful song, from a voice I was dying to hear. Berlin will always be close, my heart, my soul, my mind.... and now in my mobile as well.

Berlin, oh Berlin... you make me so happy!

There is wind in the streets and love in my mind
Ancient rains at midnight
Are singing silently, slowly
The one I missed is far away now

Days were lively, life was beautiful
Days were passing with her laughters
My hands can't reach, I can't touch
The one I missed is far away now

She has also been missing, my sweetheart
She has been feeling very cold without me
She writes so in her last letter

Impediments of life

Buying a new house during corona era certainly is no fun at all. Although I am the positive vibe type of human being, today is one of those days I have to run several circles in my garden to get rid of this ridiculous bureaucratic rules shit on my tail. If everything would run just a little bit smoother in these kind of trajectory, the world would be a bit more of a better place.

Oh well, counting down. In 32 days I will be the proud owner of a new house, while counting the days and nights in the end this is all that matters...

Corona oh corona, when will you leave?

Istanbul

Oh we're going to.... Istanbul! Just freshly decided this week to go on a roadtrip 2021 with my daughter as soon as she finishes her exams. We both are so excited to be going on a roadtrip, just the 2 of us.
It gives me a bit of a Thelma and Louise feeling. Although we all know how that ended, our ending certainly not is going to be that way. Our roadtrip story is going to have a happy ending. We will start out in Berlin and will drive in some way to my Berlin as well, although this is a bit Istanbul Berlin. An inside joke for all who understand ;-).

Berlin oh Berlin, I can hardly wait to see you again
Berlin oh Berlin, I can hardly wait to meet you!

As ideas develop in my mind I am really looking forward in planning this trip. I will share, I will shout, I will sing and I will dance all the plans and moods in my blog. It is such a fun thing to do! I am a happy camper just with how this journey unravels in my head. Oh happy days...

Fallingforyou

What time you coming out?
We started losing light
I'll never make it right
If you don't wander off
I'm so excited for the night
All we need's my bike and your enormous house
You said some day we might
When I'm closer to your height,
Till then we'll knock around and see
If you're all I need

Don't you see me I
I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you
And don't you need me I
I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you
On this night, and in this light
I think I'm falling (I think I'm falling), I'm falling for you
And maybe you, change your mind
(I think I'm falling, I think I'm falling)

I'm caught on your coat again
You said, "Oh no, it's fine"
I read between the lines and touched your leg again (again)
I'll take it one day at a time
Soon you will be mine, oh, but I want you now (I want you now)
When the smoke is in your eyes, you look so alive
Do you fancy sitting down with me maybe
'Cause you're all I need

According to your heart
My place is not deliberate
Feeling of your arms
I don't want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck

Don't you see me I
I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you
And don't you need me I
I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you
On this night, and in this light
I think I'm falling (I think I'm falling), I'm falling for you
And maybe you, change your mind

Pre-corona memories

Tonight I was browsing my mobile to reminisce my pre-corona memories. One of the last things I did past March before intelligent lockdown was having an awesome metal ladies night in Simplon theater with my adolescent daughters of 14 and 16. It was the first time I took them with me to Simplon, like I took them to Vera first last February to the Otoboke Beaver concert.

Simplon is just like Vera in Groningen a wonderful place to meet big names-to-be like Nirvana in 1989, which at that time was not very known yet. Always cool to be part of such happenings!

It is part of my way of living since I was a teenager myself, which I also would like to give my kids to make this amazing memories like I did myself.

After we had some appetizers with Schizophrenia and Angelus Apatrida, we got blown away by main act Evil Invaders and we were front row. Where I first was hypnotized by the fuckin' impressive drum solo, I later got hooked up by the dazzling almost private performance of the guitarist in front of me. 

We had so much more concert tickets for this summer. In March I was supposed to go to Ghostemane and ScarLxrd with my daughter, but lockdown came and soon it got postponed to 2021. We also hold tickets for Greenday and Weezer  to be seen in Groningen, Pearl Jam and Billie Eilish in Amsterdam, Rammstein in Nijmegen... and to our grief we have to miss the Pinkpop festival as well, with Red Hot Chili Peppers. ... 

They say all good things come to those who wait. We have to be patiënt and next year will be an awesome pretty busy musically one. And I feel lucky for being at the Muse and Rammstein concert last year, and also Monsta-X, Sunmi and A.C.E. No complaints. But I pity my kids who so were looking forward to this first awesome concert and festival summer ever in their life. A bit on hold, but buckle up: next year will be a smashing one!

First day of another new normal

Today, life outside of the safe world called home starts again for us. Not that it came to a halt in corona era, but of course we have shut out the outside in the past 2 months like everyone else in the world. 

As from mid-March on everything in my house is dedicated to a mini eco system with a clear structure called home. As a single parent you just need a few more handles to hold your strings tight somehow. It differs slightly from doing it together.

Fortunately my family already ran smooth with independent and committed kids who like to work together with a genuine will. Monday to Friday is dominated by work and school, with regular school and working hours so everyone can continue his rhythm and the transition to the new normal in the future will not be too difficult. 

Throughout time we started going outside the house little by little during weekends, for a simple nice walk and later starting geocache trails again. In the evening we regularly have cinema nights. Even though we have been locked up in a house with a garden of 1700 square metre (lucky basterella I am!) we also find relaxation together, without falling apart in individuals only sharing the same roof.

Today my 12 year old son will return physically to his school for the first time with half of his group. Although the transition from real life to online was a considerable step, we are already so accustomed to the new normal that going back from online to real life takes some time to get used to as well. His sisters who are not able yet to return to their schools wander around in amazement searching for their little brother. Despite our planning board in the kitchen shows in major capital letters:

BACK TO SCHOOL! 

in his lane. It is a funny thing, our social cohesion.

I am in a funky mood as well. I miss my little trouble maker not being around. He is quite noisy. Although he knows that he shouldn't disturb me at the times specified on our planning board in my lane, he regularly sneaks in my study room to bring me a hug. In that regard he is a lot like me, we are quite physical and like to touch and hug each other. That will be a hell of a challenge in a 1.5 metre economy.
Fortunately for him as from Monday on he at his age is allowed to do more things, like practise his favorite sport free running again this afternoon with his "matties"and hang out with his friends.

After half day I miss him terribly. Funny how soon you are used to your different way of living in a pandemic situation. And I realize the world will never be the same again.

Cherish your moments of happiness, however brief it is. You never know what tomorrow will bring, not even the next hour. Love your life in all its facets and colors. Dance with your kids and your loved ones in the moon light, do all these funny and impulsive activities, hug them. Spoil them. Kiss them. Protect them. Hold them close to you.

In the mean time stay healthy and safe.

Music

Music is my passion. Listening to music and making music frees my soul and mind. I breathe music and speak through lyrics. I am eager to discover, to learn, to absorb.

Music shapes my memories, music makes me dream. It touches my soul, you can reach me through music. Whenever you are looking for me, I am there where the music brings me. Play me a song and I am all ears.

What comes with music is emotional and sensual movement. When I hear music, I feel the urge to move. I become a dancing queen. My body speaks. When dancing, all my movements burst out of my soul and make me a free spirit. Just watch out not to get knocked out when I am near you on the dance floor.

I drift away in these long music clips with extraordinary dance and easily get carried away to another universe, picturing myself in the lead. It is the closest one can get to an other soul, a primary urge, sensual pairing of two souls, flowing together in one twirling soul. Ah music and moving, it goes natural togheter.

Let's dance!

Berlin

Every day should be fun and and should be one to celebrate life. There is no difference in Corona era. Every day I find something to celebrate, even small, we should celebrate more often.
When I celebrate life I love to dance the stars off the sky, physically in my living room, my garden, on my bed... I reach out to the sun, stars and moon in my dreams and I love to embrace all different aspects of life and the living.

Life can take a different turn when something invisble enters your life and when you embrace what is being handed to you, it touches you. I have been given this gift which enriched my life. I am nearer to my self, so close to my soul!

Berlin is a central theme in my life, not only because I had my greatest adventures over there 20 years ago. I have lived in Berlin in 2001 for 7 months. Even now Berlin comes to me again. I should have known during the first season of Casa de Papel. The universe again rubs it in my face.

Berlin, oh Berlin you bring me so many beautiful things. And now I am given an extra dimension in my life. I pick up this treasure and cherish what has been given to me.

Berlin oh Berlin thank you. Thank you for entering my life. My precioussss....